If you would have told me a year ago that I would be publishing a book, creating a podcast, and leading a media team of community advocates, I would have called you delusional. I have been the girl behind the scenes for a long time now. The one who loves creativity until it means going public on stage to be featured. This isn't something I have mentioned to most. In fact, I have performed my whole life and hardly showed my anxiety with it all. I used to be able to see myself as a ghost writer. It is easier to be the idea giver and subtly bow out.
This past year has been a kick out of comfort and I mean that with the highest level of gratitude. My ideas are not merely my own. I would be nothing without God being there when I lift up the pen, toss out the old drafts, make room for the new. The inspiration of what to write and the push to go public was not me, I'll tell you that. My faith is everything to me.
I realize now that it was never about me being the spotlight for me and my comfort. It was so that I can have a place to share, connect, and what I hope will bring light to my community. I used to associate publicity with vanity verses an opportunity to share a message. I viewed normality as being a silent observer verses a participator. Shying away for my own personal benefit meant that I almost missed out on my purpose.
Purpose isn't always comfortable, in fact, a lot of the time it is work. It is the most fulfilling work that you can and will ever do. If even one person is affected positively by these efforts, I have done my job and believe that coming into the light was worth it.
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